Exploring the Fort...

The joys of jet-lag. Awake at 4.30am but I manage to doze until 6am. Time to wander. I find a Safeway and buy myself some ham, cheese bagels and a green slurry that’s meant to be good for me. The cheese bagels would have been nice if it wasn’t for the fact I couldn’t taste the cheese because of the overwhelming amount of sugar in the bread. No wonder there’s so many fatty boos over here! Actually, there are considerably fewer in Fort Collins than everywhere else I’ve passed through, unless they’re just so fat here that they cant get out of their houses.



I’ve wandered about two miles and cant seem to find the gym I’m looking for. I’m in some ghettoish retail park when I see a fitness class place with possibly the best sign in the world on the window…


I thought that this only existed in the Mighty Boosh to appease Howard’s jazz fetish. But no, it is apparently a legitimate form of exercise here. Priceless. I resist calling the number and head next door into a Brazilian Ju Jitsu dojo. People grappling and sweating, that’s more like it. Fancying my chances in the UFC ring in case climate science doesn’t work out for me, I sign up for a taster session.

The gym turns out to be round the back of the jazzercise place and I head round to find a big room full of racks of weights and machines, without a cardio machine in sight, sweet. I chat to the guy behind the counter and secure a free 3-day pass after explaining that I’m English, not Australian. Sitting on planes, eating crap and generally doing naff all for days is getting me agitated, I’ll be heading back here later to get my sweat on - after a bit of house hunting.